Who wants a GCSE with fries on the side?

By Ceri Radford 631PM GMT eleven March 2010

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Teenagers will be since a pile-up march in scheming burgers Photo AP

There has prolonged been a bent to ridicule things utilizing the prefix "Mc" you know Mcjobs, McMansions, McCafes to the discomfit of the burger-pedlar that maintains that the practice opportunities are as greatest as the sesame seed buns. Now there is an additional tenure for it to coarse hair at the McGCSE. A new gift will give teenagers who outlay dual weeks grafting at McDonalds a Level 2 BTEC in work skills, that is, incredibly, hold to be the homogeneous of a Grade B at GCSE.

This headlines raises all sorts of questions. Should students investigate mayonnaise in test-tubes prior to staining it on a McChicken sandwich? Do you get an A* for convention a Big Mac? How prolonged until Starbucks A-level, with modules in divert seething and chocolate sprinklings?

GCSE formula Fewer pupils gaining passes in core subjects Pupils to be taught how to think in GCSE-style march McDonalds plans to suggest McPhDs to progress staff precision Millions squandered promotion A-level pick Science diplomas to be at the back of for a year

It"s easy to be sprightly about burger flipping, but the McGCSE shows what happens when a Government is so shocked of the word "elitism" that it tries to fake all education are subsequent to when it"s flattering viewable that they aren"t.

As someone who went to a extensive school, afterwards on to review English novel at Cambridge, my experience of elitism meant being taught by a little of the best, majority moving and perfectionist academics in my field, who cared as majority about the credentials of their students as they did about either their own hosiery matched. That is to say, somewhere in in between a infrequent interest, and nothing at all.

While the arrogance of amicable elitism is unacceptable, educational elitism is essentially a great thing but still, as well majority people run scared. Witness Carl Gilleard, the arch senior manager of the Association of Graduate Recruiters, who argued this week that as well majority students are pushed in to receiving devalued degrees usually to frustrate at the judicious finish to his evidence that universities need to be "more elitist".

Of march vocational precision matters, and an A-level in production isn"t for everyone, but sketch a fake equilibrium in in between academia and unsentimental skills is similar to comparing apples with oranges, or pears with cheeseburgers. I outlayed copiousness of time portion fast food as a teenager, but it was called a Saturday pursuit not a BTEC.

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Sometimes, though, the educational and the unsentimental are inextricably linked. I impute to the beleaguered Large Hadron Collider. The world"s largest molecule accerator competence have to close for a year for repairs, following the progressing closure after a bird forsaken a bit of bread on it. I have a vested seductiveness in the LHC my fianc"s relatives live subsequent to it, on the Swiss-French border, and the believe that it could, at any minute, siphon us all in to a wormhole of the own origination adds a sure frisson to Yuletide lunch. His father used to work for CERN, and when he was a child he was taken on a debate of the molecule increase in speed tunnel. My destiny father-in-law close the doorway at the back of his family and it sealed with an meaningful click. They were sealed in his PhD was of no use. His mother rummaged in her bag and found a teaspoon, that she used to prize the doorway open. Perhaps someone could find a approach to repair the LHC utilizing canteen cutlery.

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Considering, as we are, the finish of the world, I suspect majority people have wondered what will go by their head in their last moments. I have my answer. While skiing last week in distressing visibility, I went true over the corner of the piste, and felt a remarkable and terrifying void underneath my skis. I was wearing a helmet, that would doubtlessly provoke Boris Johnson, who prefers a downy hat. As it happened, I landed protection on snow, but I was condemned by the believe that if I hadn"t, the last thing I thought about as I hurtled abyss-wards was Boris.